Live and Let Live by Angelika Scheffler

Just sat on the ferry in Dover waiting for it to cast off to take us to Dunkirk. I endure ferries as a means to an end not because I don’t like travelling on the sea but because of what feels like being confined with a load of strange people on board. I hate crowds. For some of you who know me you may know of and understand my social anxiety born out of, at times, negative self perception and self criticism.


So I am sat here in a strategic corner from where I can oversee the coming and going when I noticed my critical, prejudice thoughts towards others I see go by. I notice what appears to be my themes as my criticism appears to be particularly focused on females who appear greatly over weight. Wonder what that is all about? I remember once being told that the things we notice the most in others are probably the bits we want to disown of ourselves.


I started reflecting on the last training weekend with the relational counselling group focussing on oppression prejudice, dominant norms and anti oppressive practice. We discussed how we all carry dominant norms, introjects, and how we all have the capacity prejudice. The challenge is to accept this and to become aware of one’s own prejudices

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So I am sat here practising noticing these thoughts, being curious about what these mean to me, not reacting or acting on them, just letting them pass as thoughts. I invite you to notice your prejudice and to be curious about it.
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​Angelika is the assistant teaching member
currently working with the Relational Centred Counselling course.